The S Word.

Success. Have you ever noticed how this one simple word tends to be a very stressful word? Depending on how you define it, it can make you feel really good about yourself or really bad about yourself.

Sit on this word for a minute or two.

When you think of success what do you think of? Is it money? Title? Popularity? Health? Family? Being a good person? Do you see yourself as successful? Why or why not?

As I speak with people about this topic, I find it interesting that most individuals define success in terms of money, career, popularity and or material possessions. When I ask why they define success the way they do the typical answer is because "that's what society says it is". Because of their perspective and definition of the word, majority of individuals don't view themselves as successful.

Gah!! Come on you guys... you're so much better than that!!

Do you know what the actual definition of success is? It is the status of having achieved and accomplished an aim or objective. Another definition I found was to live a happy life and to make this world a better place for everyone. On the heels of that I ran across this gem... Happiness comes from knowing what you value and behaving in a way that's consistent with those beliefs.

So, let's break this down. Success can be defined as achieving and accomplishing an aim or objective. I believe that all of us are aiming to be happy. If happiness comes from knowing what we value and behaving in a way that is consistent with those values and beliefs, then by understanding what our personal values are we can sit back and evaluate our success in an objective way, correct?

Here's the thing, happiness and success is not defined one way for all people. So to measure our individual success based on one general set of metrics is completely ridiculous and sets everyone up to fail. My definition of success will look very different from your definition of success and yours will be very different from the next person's. Each individual's values and sources of happiness are different, and that's what makes the world go around.

Have you ever given thought to how you personally define success? Do you know what your core values are? Have you ever taken a step back from your busy life and checked in to evaluate if you're living by your core values and if you are truly happy?

To define what success looks like for you, you need to identify your personal values first. People generally experience greater fulfillment and happiness when they live by their values. When we don't know what our values are or we aren't living by our values our mental, emotional and physical state suffers as we tend to be going through the motions versus really living our lives in an intentional and meaningful way.

Before you judge yourself, compare yourself to others or try to determine your level of success, I encourage you to take a moment for yourself, sit in the quiet and really think about the things you value and what makes you happy. Honesty? Money? Time with your children? Relationships? Health? Career? No judgement during this process either... if it's money that's your number one priority, good on ya! No one is looking at this list but you my friend so get real with your bad self.

Identify 5-10 core values that you see as a priority to living a successful (happy) life... for YOU. Block out the noise and chatter of what everyone else thinks is important and really get down to what YOU think is important for your happiness.

This process can take some time so don't rush it. If you get stuck try to think of some positive meaningful experiences you've had in your life and pull out the main values that were honored during that experience. You can also reflect on some negative experiences and pull out the values that were being compromised during those experiences. These compromised values are important to you. Finally, focus on the code of conduct values. These are the things that are most important to you in your life.

Once you have your list of values check in to see if the way you are living your life is in alignment with your core values. You'll know pretty quickly if the life you are living is in alignment or not. If the answer is yes, you are in complete alignment then press on... you've got things figured out my friend... I'll call you later for some tips.

If you're like the rest of us you will find areas of your life that are not in alignment with your core values and that's ok! That's what this exercise is all about! Life kind of works like that... it get's away from you and you sort of get into this autopilot mode. Some people find themselves working really hard to achieve goals because they think that's what others expect from them. Some people all of a sudden look up and don't know how they got to where they are. It happens.

When you find these areas not in alignment, don't fret. Sit back, take a breath and get honest with yourself. Evaluate and understand why you're not in alignment with your core values and figure out what changes you can make to get back in alignment... slow and steady. Overtime you will find that you are filling more fulfilled and happier as you live intentionally. Decision making will be easier as you will have your framework to better understand if the things you are contemplating are in alignment with your values or not.

Remember, Happiness comes from knowing what you value and behaving in a way that's consistent with those beliefs. Success is measured by your level of happiness, not by what others think you should be or have.

This is your life, go get it.